I know many will say it was just a car, and that it can be fixed, but part of the added frustration for me is that no one else quite understands what this car has meant to me and how much work I've put into her. The amount of time I spent reading about Jaguar maintenance has only been surpassed by the time I've spent immersing myself in Jaguar pop culture whenever I could find it. I replaced the throttle body myself last year, I personally restored those leather seats, I made myself a removable hood ornament, and I even replaced the fading badges on the rear of the car. This wasn't just a ride to me, it was a passion project that brought me a lot of joy.
The cost to replace or repair the transmission on my car is substantial, and short of my engine dying, it is one of the most expensive jobs I could possibly have done. To add insult to injury, there are no local shops able to perform the repair, and I'd have to ship my car to Calgary just to get the work done. Any way I slice it at the moment, it doesn't make a lot of economic sense to pour added thousands into a vehicle that I'm not sure I can trust anymore. To be honest, I'm not sure what I'm going to do.
As foolish as it seems, trying to figure out my options yesterday made me physically sick. As the reality of the situation became clearer with each phone call, I only felt an increasing amount of shock that I could lose my car like this. I loved this car. In less than 3 years I've built some incredible memories around it, and shared it with those close to me. While it doesn't compare to the loss of loved ones, I have distinct memories of first sharing this car with my Grandma and my friend Dave, which made it a memento of my time with them. My car actually made me feel connected to them after they each passed because the memory was so clear.
Weddings, reunions, funerals, work, road trips, and daily errands were complimented by trips in the Jag. Because of that, it was never a show piece, it was my daily driver and a source of a lot of pride. People could see the care and appreciation I had for it, and the compliments were not only an ego boost, but were confirmation that my efforts were never unnoticed. And as if I need to make the point clearer, there was this website. A source of inspiration, motivation, and a connection to thousands of readers each month who shared an affinity for their vehicles like I always have. It's with the end of my Jag, so to comes the likely end of this online journey.
I'm not really sure what's going to come of this to be honest. I'm borrowing a vehicle for a couple weeks, and after that time I'll make up my mind with a level head about what to do with the car. I don't really know how else to sum up this whole experience, but in a couple of words, it sucks.